Mr President. Where are you?
Written when Thabo Mbeki was still President

Mr President, I would like to bring too your attention that our country is in a down fall. Tumbling down at a speed of where we are unable to live any kind of a life. Mr President, I would like to bring to your attention that petrol has increased too almost R10.00 a litre. Oh I wanted too ask how is the private jet? Flying the entire world I take it, filled with petrol right? Not like our cars, where we bleed out money to try and get too work and back everyday. Mr president, I would like to bring too your attention that our country is going too start leading under poverty soon, more than what it is now, I might be wrong but all the food prices increase when the petrol does, I just thought I would remind you. Oh I wanted too ask how are your extravagant dinners across the world, have you tried any new exotic dishes lately? I’m sure the 12 year old girls and boys on the streets of Johannesburg would like too know what it tasted like. Mr president, I would like too bring too your attention that recently xenophobia attacks have occurred, now I have done my research in case you needed the definition of this very strange word, according to the readers digest oxford dictionary it states it is the deep dislike of foreigners. Okay so in South Africa’s case it was not just a dislike, it was a dark and almost demonic desire to brutally plunge these foreigners into a land of chaos and murder, where they are too scared too return too their own homes. Oh I wanted too ask how is Mugabe by the way? Has he got enough electricity for his obscenely large house? Now there is one thing I am unable too understand and was hoping you are able too shed some light on this situation for me. How is that when Mugabe's “people” are being killed by “your people” you are probably eating you prawns and sipping on you cognac at his extravagant home, with electricity that you got to with your petrol fill private jet and your limo with a full tank of gas? I just thought maybe that would be some food for thought as I can not understand that you as the president of South Africa are hardly in South Africa? Mr President, I would like too bring too your attention the increase in crime, atm bombings, hi jackings, rapes, you know the things that happen everyday in our country, every minute. Oh wait that’s right you wouldn’t know because you are never here! Oh I wanted too ask, how much did that security system in your mansion cost? It must have been quite a bit, probably not as much as your body guards. I wonder where you got all that money from. Oh I know this one, you most probably got it from the money that I needed for petrol too get me too work or it could even have been that 30 million something arms deal. Wow, now there’s a story for you, our President being thought of arms dealing, now there’s something you don’t hear everyday. I almost forgot even our vice president Mr. J Zuma himself has appeared in courts several times for several accusations If I can recall Rape was one of them and I think bribery too oh and of course an arms deal. I must say among all the chaos I do seem too see some clarity and hope, where was Mugabe when the arms deal took place? Mr President, I would like too bring too your attention the amount of women that get raped everyday. I stand strongly on this fact as I know exactly what these women go through. Oh I wanted too ask why are all the rapist's walking free? I know mine is and so are the rapists of the rest of my family and friends! How’s President Bush by the way? I take he is very well as you seem too be spending a lot of time smiling with him. Irrespective of the increase in well petrol, crime, inflation, food and rape, I am sure Mr. Bush would appreciate it if you would go give him a visit. Hey I know, why don’t you take him a cake, made by one of tens of kitchen staff.  Mr President I would like too bring too your attention that the parliament or the ANC are trying to close the scorpions. What I have been trying too figure out is why do that, when they actually do some good? Oh I wanted too ask how are the few prisoners we actually capture doing? Are there beds comfortable enough? Is there food only the freshest? Here I thought that I was a productive, responsible member of society and I can’t even make ends meat. Maybe I should go kill some-one, or rape some-one no wait I cant because I will end up walking free anyway or no-one would probably even give a fuck too come looking for me. I’m sure the scorpions would but alas they are coming too the end of there term, regrettably I must add. Mr President, I would like to bring to you attention that freedom of speech in this country does not exactly apply, well it does not apply at all. After how many protests, petitions and strikes against increasing cost of living and crime that your people f the country that you are in charge of have been effective. I tell you NONE! All of them have been blatantly ignored. You as the president haven’t even so much as addressed your “people”. Oh and I wanted too ask how are matters standing for the 2010 world cup? How many more millions have you invested into the gautrain? Look I know you are never actually here but we are not idiots. I find it very strange that ever since our triumph of that day we found out we had received the honour of hosting the world soccer cup in 2010 that, that was when everything got so damn expensive! Mr President I would like too bring too your attention, that we as the children of the future. Oh wait sorry correction how are most of us able too have a future when half of us can not afford too go too university or even finish high school? Oh I wanted too ask, how is that London degree of yours doing? Still framed? I’m sure you go visit your professors in London often too let them know that you are doing just fine. Hey Mr President, got any questions? Well if you do, I don’t give a fuck!